Eat Your Sandwich

Dressing in the Dark: Fashion Faux Pas and other memorable moments

2010-06-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gotten all the way to work and realized your underwear was on inside out? Welcome to my world. I used to consider myself fashionable, but now, after years of experience and long periods of reflection, I’ve come to a different conclusion.

Looking back there are moments in time I’m glad there were no photographers. And, others still where I’m sorry there were. Let’s take a trip through Amandaland.

I’ll start with a less offensive example to ease you into my past. While working a very formal awards banquet, one of my roles was to sit by the stage and walk the awards over to the Emcee. (Just call me Vanna). So, true to myself, I dressed the part. A long, black, strapless gown with just a bit of sparkle at the top was the outfit of the night. With my hair curled and cute jewelry, I was ready to go. I actually got a lot of compliments that evening so I thought I was pretty cool stuff. I was posing for pictures, and really feeling good about repeatedly waltzing across the stage in front of 350 people. One thing you need to know about me is my hair doesn’t “do” anything so I need heaps of hairspray to even attempt to do anything other than the long, flat Jan Brady look. I may have gone overboard that night. In retrospect, I look like something out of a 1992 Miss America Pageant. I could’ve written a country music tune, “A little less hairspray and a lot more hairbrush.”

More recently, I was wearing some new boots that were pretty cute. Black leather numbers that are sort of biker meets yuppie. I really like them (obvi). Since people are wearing boots with dresses these days and I decided to pair these with a dress for work one day. It was winter after all I wanted to keep my feet warm. And, for the most part, I think I was right. But perhaps where I strayed was that I chose to wear them inside the building. Upon further review it was more mini-dress-meets-moon-boots, than artsy-hipster.

Flowy cardigans. Whoever came up with these was seriously disturbed. However, until I saw myself in one, I thought they were the bee’s. There’s nothing like having spent the day with your board of directors, giving presentations, etc, laughing over some cocktails with them afterward, only to see a photo of yourself and discover you looked about a small as two pigs in the same pair of spandex tights. The best part was one of the women said, “Well, that’s not your greatest photo.” Thank you?

The very best example I can ever share with you came early on in my career-wear days. I had gotten a cute black and gold necklace/bracelet combo and wanted to pair it with a really basic outfit. It was a simple set, but unique, so I needed to wear something equally simple and just let it make a soft statement. Ask yourself what kind of statement a black leather strap with a gold buckle across your neck makes. It’s really awesome to know that I wore a dominatrix dog collar to work. And that it was caught on film.

I suppose you can say if you don’t take chances, you’ll just be boring. So, I guess I have that going for me.

Solving the world's problems, one coffee break at a time.

2010-05-15T12:29:00.001-07:00

I love the conversations that happen at the office. The ones that come up randomly with your co-workers while you're completely busy working on something, sometimes even with your headphones on. Someone pipes up with a comment about The Hurt Locker, or the grocery, or the revolution that was the microwave. I love it.

A few choice examples as of late:

#1 - Commencement speakers. It's that time of year, and UND was heavily promo'ing US Sec of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano as its speaker. The question posed was: how are these people are chosen? When you look around at the vast majority of commencement speakers, you have to wonder if they were tapped for their accolades or for their attributes. A person may have a laundry list of accomplishments, titles, etc. S/He may be a brilliant person. But a good speaker that does not make. Inspiring, engaging, filling young minds with vigor, gratitude and a can-do attitude -- these are all things people expect from a speaker. These are things rarely gotten. After much consideration, we had an intra-office jinx that Madonna should speak at UND in 2011. Runner up was Samuel L. Jackson. Not that either is Ghandi, but at least they'd be entertaining. Hats off as well to Ms. Napolitano for quality remarks under the 15 min mark. You're aces in my book.

#2 - Facebook buttons. There's a "like" button on facebook, which is really helpful if someone posts something like "I'm going to a Green Peace rally". But, what about when someone says "My grandma just died"? Um, awkward. My officemate did a little unscientific survey and came up with the following submissions for additional facebook buttons for all of life's occassions: Jealous, Hug, Lust, and a few others I don't remember. My very passionate argument was for "Disagree". Not that it would help in the instance of a death in the family.

#3 -Microwaves. Remember when the swept the nation? They swept it in a way bigger and broader than the iPod or even Obama '08. Everyone had to get one. I still remember going to get our first one; it was like an official family outing. And let me say, I don't really know why it was such a big deal (other than the fact that it was an Amana, dangerously close to my name and at roughly age 6 that obviously made it amazing) - it was nearly the size of the regular oven and didn't cook that much faster from what I remember. It had this huge door that swung down just like real oven, with orange digital numbers and faux wood siding. So modern and stylish. Sadly, I think my sister had it as a hand-me-down until not that long ago. The funny thing was my officemate's grandma didn't want one because she couldn't figure out what to do with all the extra space in her kitchen when she got rid of her range.

Summer Reading List

2010-05-10T17:50:00.001-07:00

With the end of the school year upon you, I figured you can't start your vacations without a summer reading list. So whether you bring your book to the beach or just relax on your patio in the evenings with a glass of wine, here are some books I think you'll enjoy.

Laugh-out-loud:

- Long Way Down, by Nick Hornby

- Holidays On Ice, by David Sedaris

- We Thought You'd Be Prettier, by Laurie Notaro

Chic Lit:

- Thanks for the Memories, by Cecilia Ahren

- Expecting Adam, by Martha Beck

- Pink Slip, by Rita Cerisi

- The Dive from Clausen's Pier, by Ann Packer

General Reading:

- Running with Scissors, by Augusten Burroughs (to be followed by Dry and Wolf at the Table)

- A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller

- A Year in the Merde, by Stephen Clarke

- Once a Runner, by John L. Parker Jr.

Happy Summer. Happy Reading.

TAG! You're it.

2010-05-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

I'm working out at the gym the other day and basically counting the seconds (which feel like minutes) until I can get off the eliptical machine. When I finally do reach the 30min mark and head to clean the machine, I look around. What I see is not pleasant. A room full of overheated middle-aged people still agonizingly doing their counting. Not much in the way of Olympic aspirations or body-building competitions.

What are we doing? Oh the depression.

It occurred to me in that moment, that wouldn't it be better if we all just played a big game of tag? Like we did when we were kids, running through the neighborhoods, between each other's backyards. I remember running and biking and skipping and jumping. I know that dodge ball is making a real name for itself these days with adult leagues and here's my theory why - it's fun. It's fun that happens to incorporate exercise. Not exercise that might have a little fun in it (read: step aerobics).

So I ask why do we have to stop doing the fun things? Why can't we go meet up on Saturday mornings for sessions of red rover, red light/green light, and my personal favorite TV tag? I would definitely set my alarm on a weekend for that.

Books

2010-04-12T18:04:00.000-07:00

I haven't written much lately but I've been thinking a lot about books. Books that I've read at different times in my life, what they meant to me; books that I'm reading right now and the things they make me think about; books that I've tried to read but haven't been able to get through for one reason or another.

I'll share my stories if you share yours. What books have you read, tried to read, loved, or hated? Lay it on me.

To get us started ...

The first book I ever remember reading and being completely engrossed in was none other than the Babysitter's Club Super Special #8: Boy-Crazy Stacey written by none other than Ann M. Martin. Thank you Ann. I checked that book out from the Edward D. Neill Elementary School library as many times as I possibly could, reading and re-reading Stacey's and Mary Anne's summer at the Jersey Shore as nannies. (Somehow they never met anyone named Snookie or The Situation)

I know it wasn't Tolstoy or even Hemingway, but I'll tell you what - Ms. Martin sure makes an ice cream at the Howard Johnson's seem like the world's greatest idea to a 4th-grader. That's just solid writing, plain and simple.

More importantly, though, it showed me the magical worlds created in my mind through reading. And for those of you who know me well, you know my mind does some magically creative things. (Which is why I can't watch scary movies - Michelle can vouch for me on that as she had to be in the same room with me when I saw Disturbia. I think I had to stay over at her house that night.)

So, that's my book. The buck is officially passed to you.

Commitment. What do you think?

2010-03-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

The other day my mom told me that her pastor recently mentioned only 40% of Americans claim they go to church. Which is a dwindling number, meaning there is an exodus of people either going to church, or claiming to go church. Maybe both.

She asked me what I thought about that and instead of reacting to the lack of religious conviction, my mind was automatically drawn to the fact that, lately, I've noticed there's a lack of commitment to a lot of things. In fact, just about everything.

Religion or no religion, I think you can see it in secular arenas too - Lions Clubs, Jaycees, and others face lacking participation; notably, marriages fall by dozens (some may view this as religious, I know). But, my comment in the moment of this question was, "Look at cell phone contracts. People can't even commit to those. They want everything like it is at Burger King. They want it their way, every day."

I really see it as an issue of selfishness. It's a lack of ability to commit because one is too selfish to give up doing whatever they want to, whenever they want to. Acting in any way that seems pleasing in the moment, justifying whatever they do as right because they say so. There may be plenty of people who, when they learn about a particular issue, could be compelled to commit. But when/if that means they need to change their lifestyles, pay attention to the things they do and say to be responsible or culpable for them, or to even to just go and rededicate themselves and learn more once each week, that's just too much.

Commitment is about being selfless, at least in many ways. A person has to say they are giving themselves to something, someone, a cause or whatever, and living within the boundaries that result is ok because they are all in.

When was the last time you saw someone do that?

The Devil May Not Actually Be In the Details

2010-03-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

I used to hear this saying a lot, that the devil was in the details. I've always taken it to mean that flaws or red flags can live deep within the fine print. A person should be very thorough, considering multiple possibilities or scenarios, one should make sure all the details are understood and clearly play the role they need to. It can be tedious, time-consuming work, but that's what's supposed to save the day and ensure success, right? Right?

I'd like to somewhat debunk that theory.

Yes, the devil can be in those details and those details can be what bring a you down. But all the same, details really aren't that important if the big structure isn't sound.

Lately I've noticed an inordinate number of instances where heaps of effort were put into the details of a project, but little to no thought was put into the big picture. Think of it like this: making a household wheelchair accessible, adding in a home theatre and a gourmet kitchen, but forgetting to concern yourself with finished walls and a good roof. The details were incredible, but the fact that you were building a house was totally lost.

The funny thing with situations like this is all that time and effort in the details wears people down and makes them feel very busy. Meanwhile, the fact that the big picture is overlooked makes those who need it frustrated. Those people ask for improvements to the big picture but the people stuck in the details are too busy to do anything about it (and have lost sight of it anyway in many cases). And so the cycle continues.

If you didn't like the house example, I'll give you another one to chew on. It's like a parent spending a lot of time and money to ensure their child has the best clothing or sports equipment, or access to the best schools, but doesn't spend the time necessary to instill values, teach the child boundaries or manners. The parent was too caught up in the details of a particular lifestyle to remember that the child needed a foundation for life first.

Or, let's say you are at work and you are putting content on your website to entice new customers. In the process of doing that, you get working on this incredible map of how to get to your store - maybe you include directions from different areas of town, a standard map, and even use Google Earth with the 3D buildings function so users can really "get in the map" and find their way. This is a great tool for sure. But you spent so much time working on that you forgot to display pictures and descriptions of your products (ie: the real reason someone would be enticed to come to your store).

Overall, it's safe to say I think the devil may be in the big picture. I think that if that's solid, well planned and well executed, 9 times out of 10 the details will work themselves out for the best. That's where my money is anyway.

Check!

2010-03-04T17:07:00.001-08:00

I did it! I checked an item off my list (see Callings from 01.13.10) and did a painting! Here is my first attempt at becoming Georgia O'Keeffe.

If everyone gets a 16x20 Christmas present next year, I'm apologizing in advance. Many of you were very kind during my foray with knitting. ...

Every Woman's Nightmare? Or, Just That of a Few Men?

2010-03-01T16:44:00.000-08:00

Swimsuits.

It may only be early spring (or mid-winter where I am) but about a week ago I decided to start shopping for swimsuits. The demon of all demons, the bane of women's existences, swimsuits cause fear and loathing in the hearts of many. Dun dun duuunnnnn. (read: sound effect)

But I have to say that for me, while I look about as far from Gisele as does my boyfriend, swimsuit shopping doesn't bother me. I understand what I've got to work with and I know that 1/2 a yard of fabric and plastic clasp isn't going to change much. Going in with realistic expectations saves me the brutal shock and pained eyes many experience.

After digging a bit online, a thought crossed my mind. I am of a certain age and a certain body type that perhaps it's time to go the route of the one-piece. I was thinking a classy, flirty one-piece, something in a solid, richer color, perhaps with a lower neckline to keep things interesting. (no ruffle skirts or Olympic uniforms)

I really thought I was on a roll and feeling pretty proud of myself when I sent 4 options via email to the aforementioned man in my life. He swiftly responded that I must have age and/or body issues for even considering these one-piece shenanigans. "Ha! One man's opinion," I thought.

Later that week I asked a female friend if she liked one-pieces or if my idea was in left field. She got very excited that one-pieces were, in fact, adorable and she was looking for some too (she actually does resemble Gisele, so I was starting to feel back on track). Yet, only about 2 seconds into my relief, her fiance piped up in the background that one-pieces were nothing but horrible.

So I got to thinking. Are one-piece swimsuits really that ugly or are they just ugly to men? Are they like capri pants, skinny jeans, and pointy-toe shoes??? (ie: the only people who think they are sexy are the ones wearing them)

1. Is that true?

2. If so, what's a girl to do who wants to swim/tan/wakeboard/boat in something classy, flirty, comfortable, and fun?

The saga continues.

7:30am on a Monday

2010-02-23T16:55:00.000-08:00

Some time in the near future, stop and think about someone you know but don't know all that well. Without reservation, name the type of car you think they drive. Then (without being a creeper) find out the real answer.

I tend to create images of people in my mind when I get to know them, trying to figure out who they are and what they're in to. I don't do it to stereotype anyone, I just think it's an interesting game. You can usually peg the people who drive pickups or SUVs, mini-vans, or hybrids. But, every now and again, someone will shock you.

So there I am, getting a cup of coffee just as I do every morning. On this particular day, the gentleman ahead of me happened to be a relatively famous (for ND) artist. Since no one reading this was there with me and since I will not name his name, I will let you know that he's the real deal when it comes to artists. It's what he does for a living and he's very "artisty" ... if that draws a picture in your mind. Eccentric, a little grungy, wears decorative scarves but not in a feminine way, more in a don't-want-to-get-paint-or-turpentine-down-my-shirt way. Very cool. You look at the guy and you literally think: Artist. He owns it. (In fact, he has an accent. An accent! And, I don't mean a Canadian one. To boot, I'm not sure it's even real! Yet he's cool enough to pull that off! But I digress.)

Here, then, was odd realization #1. He was at Starbucks. The stereotypes about drinking Starbucks are well known far and wide. Obviously I have no problem with them since I'm there every single day (They gave me a Christmas present one time. Shameful.). But it seemed really strange that this artist who definitely operates in a I'm-not-living-my-life-according-to-the-man way was there too.

Now that this story has gotten far too lengthy, here is odd realization #2: As I walked to my car (2-door Honda Civic) I saw him driving out of the lot. I now ask you, what is your guess for this uber cool artist person? Mine would have been an old school Toyota, a Datsun pickup, or an old Bronco - yellow with some rusty spots. Maybe a Woody, even. Kinda funky, cheap, utilitarian.

Nope. A Chevy Lumina.

Nothing is wrong with a Chevy Lumina. They are perfectly good cars driven by perfectly good people, but of all the vehicles I would have put him in, that wasn't at the top of my list. In fact, I may have put him in a Audi before a Chevy Lumina.

Blew my mind.

Then again it was 7:30am on a Monday and it wouldn't have taken much.

Let the painting begin

2010-02-16T18:21:00.000-08:00

A few posts back I mentioned how I wanted to paint something with actual paint on an actual canvas. Lo and behold, I find myself the proud owner or oil, acrylic and water color paints, and (ta-da) a canvas.

As much as it means to me to have this opportunity, it means more to be given those items by someone who genuinely wants to see me check off some items on my bucket list.

Life's accomplishments are amazing and satisfying in and of themselves. But having a cheerleader and someone with whom to celebrate, win or lose, is so much better.

Dressing. (not the kind you put on salads or eat with turkey)

2010-02-10T08:27:00.000-08:00

I looked in the mirror today and thought "Ugh. Gross."

Now, before you roll your eyes and think this will be some diatribe on how I think I'm ugly, hang on. I wasn't upset with my physical appearance at all. I was upset with what I was wearing (and am actually still wearing as I write this). I've always been interested and inspired by fashion, not just by what the designers do artistically but even with how functional clothing can say something about a person.

As I looked in the mirror this morning I'm not sure I liked what this outfit said about me. I know I didn't. It said: bad taste.

Most women, and I think some men, probably take risks every now and again and end up wearing something they later regret. I can accept that that's trying. Where I'm disappointed with myself this time is that my faux-pas came from not trying. It came from enough moments of putting down the really beautiful (probably expensive) item and either relying on the old standby I already had in my closet or worse, purchasing the cheaper, more poorly made version of what I wanted.

You might think here: well, that's just being budget-conscious and non-materialistic.

To that, on the one hand, I say thank you. I do not wish to go broke buying clothing I do not need, and I really don't want to be one of those people who have more clothes than the Gap Outlet. I've nearly prided myself on being minimalistic to some extents.

On the other hand, what that's done is turned me in to someone who looks hastily groomed and like they just don't quuuiiiiiiiiite get it. Gross.

Fashion may not be everything to everyone, but to me, clothes make the (wo)man. Throw some hot shoes in there and, well, sign me up.

Therefore, my pledge to myself is to figure out a way to define my preferred style, weed out the junk that makes me look like I'm still on a college budget, and start incorporating the lovely pieces I actually want to jump into every morning to take on the world.

Volunteer Brigade

2010-02-09T18:54:00.000-08:00

Have you ever volunteered for something and then regretted it profusely? Yep. I have.

I think a person volunteers for a project or an organization for a couple reasons. First, there are the touted selfless ones - you are bettering your community, giving to those less fortunate or helping those who have a hard time helping themselves, being a part of something bigger than yourself, learning a sense of team spirit and partnership, stepping outside your own boundaries, doing something just for the satisfaction of a job well done.

However, I think there are some SELFISH reasons we volunteer. And, while I may come across as pessimistic by saying this, I think it is largely true. Here are reasons you may selfishly volunteer - you want to meet people or "network", you want to look good in the eyes of others, you want to pad your resume a bit, you want to break into a different job field, you want to keep your current skills sharp in a certain area.

Overall, I suppose, volunteering for any reason is never a bad thing because some project needs to get accomplished and by volunteering, you help accomplish it. Nonetheless, I think it is the projects for which we selfishly apply ourselves that we easily burn out.

I'm guessing this is what happened to me.

Even though volunteering can be good no matter what, the problem with doing so for selfish reasons is that the altruistic spirit you need isn't there to keep you going through the hours, nights, weekends, etc, of the project. When it's selfish, as the going gets tough, the weak just want to stay home. When you are doing it for your own gain, not for the benefit of the project it's a lot easier to back out once you've gotten what you came for or when you can see you aren't getting the results you wanted. Then, no one wins. You've now irritated yourself with this self-imposed "obligation" (that's a great word in and of itself isn't it?), if you do participate chances are it's done so with guilt not with zeal, and finally, the project is always on the teetering verge of incompletion (or worse yet, failure) because your heart isn't in it.

It'll get you every time. I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned in this is I fair much better volunteering for things that are short-lived. A one day event, etc. Long-term volunteer situations and I aren't not meant to be together.

Perhaps that means I'm too selfish.

Thanks Ingrid

2010-02-01T14:15:00.001-08:00

If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match

Cuz I love the way you say good morning
And you take me the way I am

If you are chilly, here take my sweater
Your head is aching; I'll make it better

Cuz I love the way you call me baby
And you take me the way I am

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair
Sew on patches to all you tear

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am
You take me the way I am
You take me the way I am

--Ingrid Michaelson

Spare Time

2010-01-26T19:25:00.000-08:00

Alright already. There are a few things I've got on my ol bucket list that I really should have accomplished by now but have not. These are not things critical to existence, none of which involve great physical taxing or the rare opportunity to stare death in the face. Regardless, these are things I should do and can do and hereby pledge to do in my 30th year:

1. Paint a painting on an actual canvas with oil-based paints and nice brushes.

2. Brush up on my French that I earned a college degree in and haven't used since so I can actually go use it.

3. Travel to Salt Lake City and see my sister.

4. Submit an article inquiry to a major magazine.

It might not sound like much of an ambition to accomplish these four things, but to each their own. Without pointing out your goals, realistic or otherwise, it's far to easy to succumb to the rigors of everyday life and worrying about what to make for dinner rather than the direction you'd like to take your life. And, even though these things seem simple, they add up to greater goals: becoming a significant writer/author, being fluent in a foreign language and able to travel/work aboard with that, be a better family member, and using the right side of my brain more prevalently.

So here I go. I have 10 months and counting.

Seeing the Forest Through the Trees

2010-01-25T05:16:00.000-08:00

Continuing to think along the lines of "it's not all about you," I was recently reading a book that spoke more eloquently to this point. The book is written by a Christian author - not the sort that tells you to do this or that and life will be blissful. Donald Miller isn't always sure about Christianity or about how to live his own life outside taking the easy route. In his book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, there are a few passages I dog-earred in order to reference later. He talks about writing a good story, specifically the kind that makes an epic movie. And, he works through how that can help a person write a good story for his life. He's not talking about taking over Scotland or returning the ring to the center of the earth. He just talks about getting off the couch everyday and doing something memorable (even if it's simple) to live a good story.

In it he writes ..."I felt the way I hope God feels as he writes the world, sitting over the planets and placing tiny people into tiny wombs. If I have a hope it's that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you."

Much later he writes that someone once pointed out to him that in life, you need to be able to see the forest through the trees. That we, as individuals, are the trees and that what is going on in a bigger sense is the forest. We need to remember that. He also notes that what makes a story truly epic is one has to overcome conflict, and sacrifice everything to do so.

Miller writes, "The oldest book of the Bible is supposedly the book of Job. It is a book about suffering, and it reads as though God is saying to the world, Before we get started, there's this one thing I have to tell you. Things are going to get bad. ... God doesn't explain pain philosophically or even list its benefits. God says to Job, Job, I know what I am doing, and this whole thing isn't about you."

And that, right there, is what I think is the most important. It isn't about you.

I discussed that point with my dad one morning while waiting in line at Starbucks. I'm one of those annoying people who talks on my cell phone when I probably shouldn't (must work on that). Regardless, I told him that I always appreciated how forthcoming he was that life isn't fair and there is never any guarantee that it is supposed to be. His quick response was that things weren't even fair in our household, nor were they ever meant to be. He's right. We kids were treated as individuals and privileges granted to one weren't granted to all, just like experiences had by one weren't had by all.

I think this may be one of the guiding principles of my life - that it's up to us as individual people to make things happen for ourselves and it's up to us as individuals to deal with what we are dealt. It doesn't matter what anyone else has been dealt - whether that's better or worse - we are all a part of something bigger than ourselves and we each have our own roles to play within that. And, that overcoming conflict and sacrificing to do so paint the most beautiful stories for our lives. Why would we ever want to pass on that opportunity?

Caution: No One Owes You Anything

2010-01-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

A lot of times when reading news articles, overhearing conversations or seeing things on television, I notice there is a campaign going on against personal responsibility. To me, personal responsibility is the notion that you make it or break it on your own. Your actions, your thoughts, your achievements and your failures belong to you. No one else. Obviously other people and other circumstances affect you, but your reaction to those things is entirely within your control. Therefore, others are most likely not at all responsible for your situation in life. Not whatsoever.

But like I said, there seems to be a revolt against this idea. Some examples include the following:
McDonald’s freak out

I can see how it can be “easier” to blame someone else for what’s wrong in your life or for why something happened/didn’t happen. But if you blame someone else and forget the next step of “what could be done to make this better” or “how can I prevent this from happening again” or “is this really that big of a deal that I need to get upset” then you give all the power and control in your life to others.

And, you become just some random pinball bouncing around at others’ whims.

You allow yourself to have no say in whether or not you have a good day, whether or not you reach a goal, whether or not parts of your life come together as you wish. Why would you constantly put the ball in someone else’s court?

Not to advocate control freaks, but on a limited scale, they have something going for them. They have personal responsibility. If they want something, they make it happen by hook or by crook.

But if over-exercised, control freaks can end up in the same boat as those with no personal responsibility in two ways:
1. If something doesn’t go according to plan, then a consummate control freak may believe that it must not have been their fault. Everything they control goes perfectly, so if something is bad then someone else must be at the root of that problem.

2. By extending their controlling nature onto others, they create those who do not know how to control anything. See: micromanagers in the workplace and helicopter parents (lengthy, but great article: Nation of Wimps)

If there were a guidebook to life, I’m pretty sure there would be a warning printed in red, bold letters on the opening page stating: CAUTION – NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING AND THERE IS NO GUARANTEE YOU WILL YOU WILL FIND PEACE, HAPPINESS, LOVE, MONEY, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU THINK YOU “NEED”. DEAL WITH IT.

From there, we would read the pages about guarding our hearts, taking risks, avoiding mob-mentality or group-think, giving our minds and bodies something to do each day, and probably something about remembering to stop and smell the roses. (Perhaps this sounds like the Bible to some of you … perhaps not to others.)

I just think that at the end of the day, if we do not take responsibility for our own actions, regardless of the circumstances around us, then why are we each here at all? We aren’t puppets in others peoples’ shows. We are the leading ladies and men of our own lives. We are not the wingmen or the best friends. It takes some gumption but why is that a bad thing?

Callings

2010-01-13T13:54:00.001-08:00

Traveling the world. This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, maybe as long as I can remember. It's not like the kind of desire one gets where some dream goes on list of things to do before one turns 50 (and then in the 11th month of the 49th year you freak about because you've only done 2 of your 20 items). It's more like a calling. Something that has chosen me more than the other way around. And no matter what, it will always be there. I can't say I'm an expert when it comes to callings, or that I've had a lot of callings in my life. The few I've had and pursued, though, have been completely fulfilling. So far these include:
1. Being a dancer. This was a non-negotiable point for me when I was younger. Dancing wasn't what I did, it was a part of who I was.
2. Learning French. There is absolutely no reason I should have been tapped to learn French vs learning Spanish (practical), Chinese (very desirable in business), or Russian (the hardest). But for whatever reason, French was it for me. It was it way before it became one of my college majors, and even before I took my first class at Nicollet Jr High. I just remember knowing somewhere in the back of my mind that I already knew the language, it was just a matter of retrieving the information from somewhere inside my brain.
3. Writing. I like to think of myself as a jack of many trades but an expert at none. Except maybe writing. And here's why I think that's possible - in writing, at least the writing I've done - I've written about people. I've been allowed inside the minds and daily activities of many types of individuals, so I've gotten to experience the life of a rock musician, a judge, an engineer, a surgeon, an opera singer, a businessman, a retiree, a student, a traveler, a parent, the list is endless. I've become an expert at writing about people who experience things as experts. I don't have to know as much as they do to take a peek inside their world and report it back to the masses. And, to boot, I've always loved words - their sounds, the way they look, the way they pair with their fellow words on a piece of paper or on the computer screen. The way a person is able to say the exact same thing in two different ways and inevitably give off many different meanings. Words give weight to the things we think and see and feel.
4. And finally, back to traveling. I've done my fair share throughout the U.S. (25 states + DC), and a little bit in Europe (England, Scotland, France, Ireland), but I can't say that's satisfied me. Maybe it has to do with growing up as an airline kid, but I have always this urge to go. Go become absorbed somewhere and get caught up in an entirely different way of living. I don't know exactly what that means - if I traveled for a summer would that do it? Do I need to put down roots somewhere else for a while or just travel there frequently for work or pleasure? I can't say as I can see the whole picture yet but it will hang over me until I take action.

And that is probably the most annoying and fantastic things about callings: They won't let go of you. No matter how inconvenient, poorly timed, expensive, demanding, or offbeat they may be, it's what you're meant to do. Continuing to swim upstream against it will only wear out your arms.

Yet, the older I get the easier it is to find road blocks. Money, time, careers, family, other life goals, or even age. The older you get, aren't things supposed to be clearer - you know, "you'll understand when you're older"? So why then do we resist things like our callings the older we get?

Lately, I've been reading some words by Don Miller, who wonders if God wrote us all like a story. Well, if we are all the leading men or ladies in our own stories, then we need goals and we need to overcome conflict to achieve those goals in order to be compelling. If our story is going to be the type of story that gets made into a movie.

So maybe these callings are like God's way of showing us what our story could be; and that even though throughout our lives we build safe cocoons that can be enticing to stay within, once we overcome our fears and struggle a little to break free, we will all be butterflies. Beautiful and mobile and certainly something of wonder.

Maybe.

Bananas and other metaphors

2010-01-05T14:29:00.000-08:00

Why are things that are crazy called "bananas"? Bananas are not crazy - they are fruit from trees, which is an incredibly common, normal concept. If they were as crazy as we infer, then they would surely not be $0.48/lb at the grocery. They would be $1.98 like all the fancy cross-pollinated apples coming out of the U of M's ag program. Or like star fruit.

And I lied in the title. There are no other metaphors today. Maybe tomorrow.

Christmas: the new Labor Day, Halloween, Veteran's Day, and Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

Raise your hand if you love Christmas. Now, put it down because chances are you're alone and no one else can see you anyway.

Both from a Christian and a secular sense, I agree that Christmas is fantastic. It's the birth of Jesus, it's a time of family and togetherness, it brings out the pure joy in children, and let's be honest, it's magical.

All that aside, I think that just like Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 states, "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven ..." Applying this to Christmas, there is a time to celebrate it and a time to just be patient.

I was driving down Gateway Drive in about October and passed one of the highlights of GF, Ideal Inn. What made me do a double take was the significant inflatable Christmas scene erected in the parking lot. A couple things about that made me pause ... 1) I didn't realize people at the Ideal Inn were thinking about the birth of Jesus, but 2) it was OCTOBER.

I know the retail shops have all started putting out the garland and red ornaments as soon as the kiddos go back to school. Even though I don't like it, I can justify it because they need to turn profits.

Where I've recently been disappointed by an exceedingly early expression of Christmas cheer:
- The all-Christmas all-the-time music began on the radio right after Halloween
- The town Christmas decorations are already up and it's not Thanksgiving yet - I understand putting them up while it's still nice out, but it's not necessary to turn them on.
- I read on Facebook that some people have already had their trees up for about a week ... I hope they're not real firs.
- Boy Scouts are already selling wreaths ... won't they die before Dec 25?
- Commercials featuring Santa are on TV (but this is ok bc I love those, especially the Coke ones ..."Did ya see it?" ... "Uh huh.")

Like I said, Christmas is magical. But, doesn't it not only take away from the magic of Christmas as well as the focus on thankfulness during Thanksgiving, and the fun and fright of Halloween by starting the party a little too early? It's like if you live at the lake or by the mountains, you don't see them every day with the same awe and wonder that you do when you visit those spots on vacation.

I think too much of any good thing ruins it a little bit. So, here's to Halloween, here's to Thanksgiving, here's to the celebrations of Labor Day and Veteran's Day, and most of all, here's to Christmas and celebrating it for the magic that it is ... but not overdosing on it.

Got Grunt?

2009-11-23T19:18:00.000-08:00

One thing I absolutley love about watching is sports is the grunters. I'm not talking about the fans, I'm talking about the athletes. You know what I mean. Those people who, with every forceful step, swing, jump, lunge, or throw let out an animalistic yelp from deep within.

Just the thought of it reminds me of greats like Venus Williams, Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, Maria Sharapova ... wait a minute. These are all tennis players.

Realizing this, I Googled to see which other athletes grunt, assuming I'd find a humor-filled link or two across the gamut of sports.

But, Apparently tennis is where the grunting is at! Here is a quick list of sites dedicated not just to grunting but grunting in tennis:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105850688

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2009/06/21/wha_unhhh_a_defense_of_the_tennis_grunt/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grunting_(tennis) (why wouldn't there be a Wikipedia site for this?)

http://deadspin.com/110521/the-primal-grunts-of-maria-sharapova-and-her-fans

http://www.arrod.co.uk/archive/blog_20030630_GruntingInTennis.php

http://gotgrunt.com/GotGrunt/Welcome.html

The ultimate site, though, discusses how the sport of tennis may BAN grunting. What?? http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/postedsports/archive/2009/06/15/itf-to-crack-down-on-gruting.aspx

http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/messages/chrono/15594434

Even though some resources site that grunting does not add force to an action, I think these tennis players are onto something. I think that I will add grunting to my day. Not while I'm working out or cleaning or doing home improvements. More like when I hit "send" on an email, or answer the phone, or select the paper tray on the copy machine, staple things, or use the water cooler.

I would be so cool.

We're going to miss you

2009-11-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

I'll start out by saying that I'm not much for pats on the back. That said, very rarely being validated for a job well done, or appreciated for going above and beyond can change how one thinks about praise. Some people might react to it by demanding praise and feeling bitter. Others (read: me) convince themselves they never needed it anyway so it doesn't matter that they don't get it, ie. defense mechanism.

Regardless of reaction, lack of feedback, except the negative variety, can make a person question if they're on the right track, adding value where they work/volunteer, and refining themselves into an expert. Exasperated, confused and generally worn out, one decides to move on.

Irony of ironies, this is when the people who had nothing good to say to you before now gush about how great you are.

There are two ways to look at this:
1. You really do suck and people are just so happy you're going, they are happily, merrily celebrating your exit.
2. People take others for granted. Sort of like how a teenage girl treats her mom. Pick, pick, pick and gripe, gripe, gripe, but when the going gets tough and one loses something really important, people get very emotional about the departure.

I'm choosing to look at some of my recent shifts as examples of #2. I say this, because a) I know I'm good at what I do, and b) I'm presently experiencing the emotional overtures.

They have included: emails of sadness, recommendations, shocked faces, many best wishes, and to top it all off ... tears. No joke.

Don't get me wrong, it's all appreciated and very touching. Most definitely. I've given everything I can to my chosen path, morning, noon and night; I'm more than touched. However, I wonder how many people get off the roller coaster long enough to realize that if they merely didn't take their peers for granted and instead treated them with dignity, perhaps the regretful, mournful loss wouldn't even enter the picture.

So, lessons learned; what am I taking away from this? I'm going to own my life and what makes me tick. I'm going to follow my passion. I'm also not going to give more than what's expected in order to try and gain respect. I will always work hard, I will just be smarter about it. Because, if you give, give, give, instead of becoming relied upon as a credible, trusted professional, you'll just get relied on as a doormat.

I hate the term "look out for No. 1" but ... apparently it's true.

The few, the proud, my favorites

2009-11-17T17:00:00.000-08:00

Black
Dresses
Scarves
Silver jewelry
Brown leather boots
Nehru jackets
Bangel bracelets
Ruffles
Solid colors
3" or higher heels
Natural make-up

These are a few of my least favorite things

2009-11-16T17:48:00.001-08:00

Leggings as pants

Sweatpants with elastic at the ankles

UGG boots

Sweatpants with UGG boots

Belly shirts

Low rise pants

Purses that can double as luggage

Thick eye liner

Platform shoes

Sequined & lace cotton tank tops

Striped hair

Ed Hardy t-shirts

Hockey jerseys as dresses

Everything boasting fringe

Pleats

Chunky-heeled shoes

Really tan skin

Bump-its

Jeans without back pockets

Neon

Crocs

Denim button ups

Shirts sporting horses, deer, ducks, kittens, or dogs

Skorts

Green eye shadow

Shirts with key holes at the chest

Polyester

Bleached hair

Panty lines

Pleather

Bell sleeves

Flanel shirts

Mall bangs in 2009

John Cusak saved the world

2009-11-15T18:16:00.001-08:00

Interesting choice, don't you think?

2012 was the box office favorite this weekend and I was pleasantly surprised I liked it. Action movies are great but I didn't know much about this one (have been living under a rock, i know).

While I believe we counted 7 close-call escapes, all classics involving explosions, toppling buildings, and death-defying avionics from a complete novice, there was really only one part of the whole movie that was completely unbelievable ... aside from the plot line I guess ... and that was when the Russian's trophy girlfriend sneaks on the boat and whistles to her lap dog who is surrounded by thousands of panicking people. The dog, of course, hears her and scampers across the cable wiring between the boat and the dock just in time for both girlfriend and puppy to sneak into a hole in the ship. She, as any pin-up girl turned action hero would, gives her ex-boyfriend standing in the crowd the middle finger.

I won't spoil anything for those who haven't seen it yet, so I will leave you with these parting thoughts. A few of the good guys die and not always in a merciful quick death like crashing in a plane or exploding in a volcano. And one death is even a bit surprising.

All in all though, two thumbs up. It will be a great Sunday afternoon flick for TNT or FX in the future.

What's an antonym for dynamic?

2009-11-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

I overheard a conversation last night debating the virtues of Grand Forks and Fargo. The female took the pro GF stance, explaining that Fargo had to pick up the pace in the last 10 years in to keep its business - apparently everyone was heading north en masse to dine at Sander's (keep in mind when she says "everyone," Fargo has about 100,000 people and capacity at Sander's is roughly 75).

Together they named the new and hip restaurants in Fargo like ... Cork & Cleaver and Monty's. No disrespect but neither are new and it's more than a stretch to entertain C&C as hip.

The gentleman chatter noted Fargo's downtown was very dynamic (his word) and Grand Forks had struggled to recover post-Flood.

Then came her banner moment, naming the single characteristic of GF that has elevated it above its southern peer. Was she pinning her debate on REA and men's hockey? Miss Britney live and in concert? The Toasted Frog? Wait for it ...

The Greenway.

A lovely stretch of land along the Red with a bike path and several other outdoor amenities; I, too, love the Greenway. I ran a half-marathon on it this summer. But, the Greenway is the pinnacle of success for our city? It's the singular asset that lifts it above Fargo?

Please. Expand your horizons beyond Wahpeton and reconsider that statement.

So here's an alternative. Instead of trying to compete against Fargo, why not invest in just being better? Period. Comparing the two cities is pointless and frankly, ND doesn't need two Fargos or two Grand Forks's. Having two very different and unique cities would serve us much better. Think of our neighbor to the east. In MN, Duluth, Minneapolis and Rochester all serve their own purposes, eliminating any need to compete with the other and offering Minnesota more variety.

But, back to my conversationalists. The bone I had to pick with it all had less to do with the topic and more with the viewpoint from which it was approached. It was limited. Limited in every sense of the word. Neither city, nor the state, has much chance at diversifying and expanding until the scales fall from the eyes of many who live in it.

Wrestlemania XXIV

2009-11-08T16:28:00.000-08:00

Are you ready to rumble?

Fact: do not to have one of the biggest, most emotionally draining weeks of your life at the same time as the person you are dating. Not only do you feel like you've been punched in the face by your own situation, you get kicked in the teeth by your partner and to top it off, you realize that you have in fact kicked the person you love in the teeth just as hard. It's brilliant.

Invalidation is a bag of depression, both when you feel it and when you know you've passed it on to someone else.

But, as the great Bell X1 once sang:
I've been walking you
into those lamposts again
But I'd rather do that
than let go of your hand

So let the bell ding and jump in. But try to remember that your certain someone is meant to be your tag team partner, not your opponent.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

2009-11-03T20:32:00.000-08:00

See it.

Ripping the adhesive bandage

2009-11-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

I don't mean to sound like a John Cusak movie, but how do you know when to completely let go, look an uncertain situation in the eye that will have a significant and long-lasting impact on your life, and just jump?

Sometimes it's as easy as not thinking too hard and choosing your dreams over your realities. Sometimes your gut tells you, overwhelmingly, to turn left or to turn right.

But what about those other times??

When your gut pushes you one way, only to throw you the opposite, and when your emotions are as clear as pulpy orange juice, that's when the real fear sets in. It's not a fear of jumping or a fear of not jumping; it's a fear of not trusting yourself that freezes you, mid-air, in between the having your feet on the ground and soaring full force toward your landing. Waiting to thaw out and at least plop yourself to one side of the other.

And if you're like me, making decisions on a certain level is cake. The writing is on the wall, you hold fast and firm and you're done. Cool and calm. To the point where people who panic or hesitate are terribly annoying. So to be the exceptionally confident person on the one end and then be the antithesis of that on the other ... let's be honest, it's schizophrenic.

You begin to wish some force bigger than yourself would come along and either weigh you down back to the ground, or pitch you over the edge of the cliff without a parachute. Either way, the decision is done, over, and now it's about dealing with what that means, rather than continuing to stare at either option.

This is me, wishing.

No one throws up from being scared

2009-11-01T18:03:00.000-08:00

I'm definitely in the minority at this time of year. My favorite part about Halloween is seeing all the little kiddos in their pumpkin, dinosaur, Superman, or bunny rabbit costumes, and giving them candy. My favorite part about Halloween in no way involves the following:

1. Turning any costume idea (BLANK) you can think of into a "Sexy BLANK". My date was dressed as the Swine Flu (?) and I was a gypsy. When he asked me why I wasn't a sexy gypsy, I said I would but only if he went as the sexy Swine Flu.

2. Getting supremely drunk. I don't think there's any explanation needed here. But, when a person does want to do either 1. or 2. ... why post it on Facebook? Is it really necessary to broadcast on the internet how desperate you are?

3. Watch a scary movie. This pretty much goes for any time of year. However, Halloween takes it no a new level. Here's a good example: Paranormal Activity. What in the mother love is that? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why do we need that in our lives? I seriously can't even watch the commercials for these films let alone the trailers, let alone the movie. In Fear, I spent the last 15 minutes of the movie with my head in my knees. In From Dusk Till Dawn ... I got up and left the theater.

Who in the rock comes up with this stuff? While I HATE being scared, if people like it, people like it. But whose bass-akwards mind creates these films and then has the stomach to film them? Not it.

Who sits around and thinks, oh I'll make a movie about a girl who decides to eat her best friend (Jennifer's Body)? I have a lot of female friends - some close, some not. Never ever have I thought eating their flesh was an effective relationship management tool. Or, how about we put some kids in a youth hostel and gruesomely torcher them to the point where no one will ever want to even travel again - ever - let alone stay in an economical boarding house (Hostel)? Perhaps this movie is what tanked the travel industry and not the poorly run airlines / bad economy. Anyone ever consider that?

The twisted mind it must take to create those movies is something I can't comprehend. I do not have those thoughts. Normal, healthy people do not have those thoughts. Well-adjusted people come up with movies like The Bourne Trilogy, Juno, 500 Days of Summer.

I'll be staying on that side of the line.

Happy November 1.

Tight Rollin in the USA

2009-10-28T05:38:00.001-07:00

I don't have as much time or resources to shop as I'd like to these days ... and there's really no point anyway since the best stores I can shop here are TJ and Target. So I really look forward to getting all those free brand catalogues in the mail: J.Crew, Martin & Osa, Express. I know we're not talking Dolce & Gabbana, but it satisfies my fashion itch for now.

Fashion is cyclical. I know this. We've seen 50s and 60s dresses come back into style, bell-bottom pants, espadrilles, wide belts, skinny belts, polka dots, and more. But it's also innovative - hopefully recycling elements of trends that once were into something better.

To my shock and nauseated horror, when I opened my most recent brand catalogue I found the faux pas of faux pas. Tight rolled pants with short socks and heels.

Excuse me?

Now, I've watched every episode of Sex in the City seeing Sarah Jessica Parker's character try to pull off everything from a fanny pack to a backless dress with a bra. I've also lived on a college campus for the past 11 years and seen a number outside-the-box outfits walk past my office window. I'm open to all of that. I've tried some of it myself (not the fanny pack). I've tried the boots over jeans look, I bowed to the peer pressure of capri pants, I've worn a print t-shirt with a suit. I get it. But tight rolls, socks and heels?

The only time that should ever be worn is if you get out a DeLorian in 1985.

Clothing is utilitarian, but fashion is art. What statement, exactly, is one trying to make by scrunching one's pants into hard lumpy rolls above the ankle? Are you a beach comber? Are you on your way to Maine? Add short, hot pink socks with your favorite pair of pumps and you've just hemorrhaged my eyes. I don't appreciate it.

I'd sooner campaign across the world advocating skinny jeans and wearing a headband across one's forehead (Note: to everyone on The City - stop it. You are not Wonder Woman).

This is not art, this is not utilitarian, this is just ugly and embarassing. The only thing that should be resurrected from the 80s is the music. Leave the rest of it alone and let's fondly remember it for what it was. Past tense.

Swinging the Pendulum

2009-10-27T12:51:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about personalities. My massage therapist once said something interesting about her own mother, which was that for most of her life, she was incredibly giving and selfless to a fault. She always worried about what everyone else needed and did her best to fulfill that.

In the end though, as she grew old, she became one of the most self-centered, bitter and inward people one could imagine.

Maybe this could get chalked up to aging - ailments, adjusting, etc. But I wonder more if it wasn't the pendulum of her personality swinging the other way as a result of spending so much time way to the left of center.

If a person is out of balance, absorbing themselves in anything that doesn't allow for well-roundedness - work, helping people, a marriage, children, working out, etc. - will they eventually reach a breaking point? Will they hit the wall on one side and careen straight into the polar opposite?

The Nothing Box

2009-10-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

While eating oatmeal at a truck stop I was enlightened as to the difference between men and women. I was introduced to the Nothing Box.

Apparently, as it was explained to me, women's brains are constructed like a ball of twine - everything overlaps and interweaves. For example, a mother may wake up in the morning, get her three boys fed and ready for school, do a load of laundry, plan dinner, and head out the door to her own full time job. When a woman hears shes getting company, she plans to change the sheets, stock the fridge, straighten the house, and find a few local activities her guests may enjoy. Everything interconnects, overlaps, etc.

A man's brain, on the other hand, is constructed like boxes. There's a work box, a family box, and there's probably a golf box. A man can only be in one box at a time, singularly focusing on one issue. The man who has company enjoys his company. He's not in the kitchen prepping hors d'oeuvres, wipping dessert plates, and refilling the ice trays - he wasn't in that box.

The most favored box a man has is the Nothing Box. Jumping in his Nothing Box, the man can shut off anything and everything, clearing his head and recharging. Ahhhhh, the nothing box.

Unfortunately while the nothing box is heaven for the man, it's the box women hate the most.

The man who explained this to me believes in the Nothing Box theory. He said it's glorious. (I really think he used the word glorious) And I - after knowing my brother for all 29.9 years of my life - definitely believe it's true.

So why would the woman hate (loathe?) something that is so central to a man's being? Is it because women are jealous they don't have an invite to the box? That was the wisdom of the Nothing Box dweller in my life.

My view, however, is there is a much simpler, easier-to-buy reason. I submit that women are annoyed by the fact that, after putting up with a man who can only handle one-track-thought all day long, that man gets to jump in his Nothing Box to recharge; thus leaving the woman to handle: everything.

Tricky little buggers.

All is not lost though. Not to be outdone, I also believe that women are learning to find their own Nothing Boxes. With the ever-increasing delay in marriages and reproduction, women are able and willing to cuddle up in newly discovered nothingness. I'm not sure which came first, finding Nothing or staying single longer, but the relationship is surely strong.

I know I possess the ball of twine upstairs. But I also know I'm getting more comforable with my very own Nothing Box. I like it in there - it usually involves a good book or a chick flick. At least until the commercial break brings me back to earth, what's not to love?

....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM&feature=related

The Bounce Bandwagon

2009-10-22T05:50:00.000-07:00

I read a book called "Bounce" ... it could have been titled "Who Moved My Cheese" or "Good to Great" or ... you get the picture. Its premise was that companies will inevitably experience disintegration on some level or another. Truth. The key is how reintegration is handled on the back end. The author asks if a company will be like a Christmas ornament, and when it falls from its peek it will shatter into thousands of pieces. Will it be like an orange and stay together on the outside, but be pretty damaged on the inside? Or, will it be like a hard rubber ball, hitting the ground and bouncing back even higher?

Good concept?

Absolutely.

Ah, but here's the devil in the details, the point no one wants to admit: Company cultures don't shift or improve because someone (or a management team in this case) read a 150pg book. Company cultures are built and sustained because of who people ARE. I think it's realistic to assume that if a class of undergrads read Bounce or any of its peers, some good could come away from it. Perhaps as they would each consider how they will manage, how they will interact with co-workers, what approach they will take to their professions; a book like that could shift a forthcoming workforce dynamic. However, I'm hard pressed to see that someone in their 40s, or someone a few years from retirement, will adjust ingrained behaviors and attitudes because of something they once read on an airplane. Makes me think of Jerry McGuire's memo.

To be certain, I'm not a pessimist. I am, however, a realist. And in realistic terms, all the niceties and momentarily inspiring text in the world won't effect change in a permanent sense.

After all ... Look at the "Purpose Driven Life" movement. I think people on that bandwagon found spirituality for about 20 minutes.

Liberal Radio ... why?

2009-10-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

This morning on CNN there was discussion whether or not more liberal talk radio should be created to balance the conservative talk radio. I think that liberal talk radio has been attempted (Ed Schultz, et al) and it doesn't have the following convservative talk radio does. Why does there need to be a mandate for something like this? Why should time and money be spent on producing content no one wants to digest in that format? That's pretty anti-capitalist, and somewhat undemocratic if you think about it. People vote with their time in terms of Nielsen ratings and if no one is voting for it, why would it be produced anyway?

The first rule of public relations is know your audience. Know what conversation(s) they are having and how you can enter that conversation in a way that will move and compel them. Without knowing that, you'll never be able to get your point across. Without knowing how to enter the conversation meaningfully, it's like you're walking into a cocktail party and shouting at the top of your lungs instead of just going up to someone and visiting. And that's just weird.

Doesn't sound like anyone who is pushing for liberal talk radio knows their audience very well. Shouters.

(not that I like conservative radio. the hosts come across like religious fundamentalists. and that's weird too.)

Morning Reading

2009-10-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Do you ever miss The Way I See It on the back of Starbuck's cups? A little slice of insight from some regular (and some not-so-regular) Joes, who had enough time to not only think that somewhat provacative thought, but to also log on to starbucks.com and navigate to where one would submit such a comment. I'm a bit tired just considering it. Nonetheless I miss those simple wisdoms. Now the cups just tell me how I'm so fabulous for buying fair trade beans ergo saving the world ... But, since I throw the cup away rather than recycling it (are those things even recyclable? I have no idea), aren't I somehow back to par?

The Way I See It #76 - The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life. - Anne Morriss.

Thank you Anne.